I don't have a good explanation for this
A few days ago I started saying this sentence more often. The situation is mostly that me
- did something I shouldn’t have done
- have only done something half-heartedly
- did something wrong
- Please fill in the blanks
I’m talking about these situations where your wife asks you if you are still at consolation. I don’t know about others, but we do quite often. That could possibly be because I tend to be a little bit stubborn.
I don’t know why I started to answer “I don’t have a good explanation for it”. I haven’t read about it anywhere or anything. But that doesn’t matter, what is important is what this little sentence does:
A small portion of honesty
Most of the time it really is like this: We do something that we know is not exactly wise now or only half-heartedly or we know that we are doing something that will displease the other. I don’t know how others are doing, but if you’re caught doing it and asked about it, it’s usually a great excuse. The point is that your wife will remark that you are just serving her an aura. It’s not very glorious, not really honest, but it is what it is, you try to explain the meaning of your behavior somehow.
If I responded with “I don’t have a good explanation” instead of an excuse or an explanation, different things happen than usual:
- My wife responds with a smile and the situation relaxes
- The pressure that I myself may feel in such a situation is gone immediately
This is not just an empty phrase. It’s probably the only thing I could say that is really true, because the fact is: I usually really don’t have a goo explanation for my behavior in such situations. That makes this answer very honest.
If everything else is an excuse anyway and the pitiful attempt to make sense of nonsensical behavior, it is probably not worth the effort.
I will keep this way. I can’t say today whether this will pay off in the long term and whether we will treat each other better and more honestly as a result. Maybe it will help.